Dear Asshat Fucktard,
I've heard about how 'hurt' you are that I won't talk to you at family gatherings. Funny, I hear it from other people instead of from you, like it should be. You say you struggle with the feelings when I blatantly ignore you? You don't make a move to talk to me beyond, "Hi, how are you doing." I have yet to hear from your mouth about how you're saddened by my actions. I have yet to see a single shard of evidence that you care(d) about me at all. The only reason I have to be even semi-related to you is because you're the father of my sisters, and a very poor one at that.
Do you know what it feels like to be abandoned? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be shuffled off to the side in favor of someone else just because you don't 'belong' to that person? Do you realize the impact it has on a person to know that they were adopted by someone just so you could marry their mother and get into their pants in order to produce an heir all your own? Imagine, just for a second.
I carry your last fucking name because I was adopted into it. I carry it because it's the law, not because I carry any fucking feelings for you. If I had the money and knew where to go, I'd get my name changed in a flash, and I'd finally be able to cut the last tie I have to your shitty-ass "legacy." As it stands, I DON'T have the money, and I DON'T know how to get it done if I did.
My mother had every intention of letting me believe that you were my real dad, except that as I was growing up, I always felt there was something missing. Not just the presence of a real father, but also that love that a father, adopted or not, is supposed to show their children. ADOPTED OR NOT. The limited memories I have of you as I was growing up all show that you favored my sisters over me.
It was apparent mainly in punishments, and I remember at least twice getting spanked viciously by you over something Kaylee or Jasmyn "said" I did. The most vivid was the beating I got from you after Kaylee told you that I dumped her clothes out of her window, when in fact that was something SHE did during a temper tantrum, along with wasting toothpaste by smearing it all over a lightbulb. I'm surprised you didn't scar my legs, as many times as you missed my butt with that belt.
You favored them because they were solely yours, didn't you? Your offer to come live with you was given solely to them because you FORGOT about me. Imagine what that was like for a second. To come home from school to find out that your siblings have been offered to go elsewhere, while your name didn't even come up in conversation. I'm pretty sure the only times you remember me is when you see me face to face. That's what it feels like.
Imagine this for a second, too. Imagine you have a father who lavishes money on your siblings in things like BUYING THEIR FIRST CAR(S) FOR THEM and insurance for said vehicles, but when your name is even suggested your father starts laughing, or straight up says he doesn't have any money.
Maybe this is mostly jealousy, but it's jealousy that's been building for over two fucking decades. I have every right to be angry about this. You were supposed to be the father that I would have never had, and yet it was all a lie. It was all a fucking ploy. YOU NEVER LOVED ME.
And there was a time where I might have loved you, but that time is long past. Now I get to sit and wait for you to man up and fucking APOLOGIZE, although I know that'll never happen. You don't have the balls.
FUCK YOU.
19 September 2010
13 September 2010
Oh, Hello Rehash
I just listened to the new Linkin Park album A Thousand Suns and I have to say it's disappointing to hear this band resort to rehashing previous albums. (No, Reanimation wasn't a rehash album, that was a remix album. There's a difference.)
A Thousand Suns sounds like Minutes to Midnight with different tracks. The grungy, rock-filled albums of the past are obviously over, shoved out of the way in favor of new wave indie pop and anti-war/anti-government propaganda. Lots of ambiance can be heard on this track, lots of fades and rushes. The instrumentation is lacking for all of the effects they used to not make every song sound like the last.
Remember Meteora? That neat experiment song Nobody's Listening? It sounds like they tried for that feel on nearly every song on this album. Like the entire album is an experiment, and a failed one at that.
I'm generally a fan of Linkin Park. I gave their last album a shot, and some of the songs grew on me, and here I was hoping they'd go back to their roots for this new CD. I hoped for nothing, I was let down.
The closest you'll get to their old sound on this album is the song Blackout. And even then, it sounds like they had Michael Jackson sing/scream this track before the man died. And the background music just does NOT fit. It seriously sounds like it belongs in the water level of Sonic 4. It even sounds like it was generated with a MIDI synthesizer or a Genesis.
Wretches and Kings sounds like a throwback to Fort Minor. You know who Fort Minor is, right? Mike Shinoda's little rap group pet project? They had, like, one commercially released album and a bunch of self-released LPs. It's actually not bad, but one good song in a collection of 15 is not a good thing.
There are tracks on this album that are too short to be worth anything. I can understand the intro being a short bit of music, but when there are other tracks that are snippets of speeches and nonsensical percussion runs, I start wondering if the production of this album was mixed with the production of an Eminem album.
The title track for this album is The Catalyst. It's been featured in the commercial for some war game... I think it's Call of Duty, might be Medal of Honor. One of those games. I'd heard it there, I'd heard it on MySpace, I'd heard the remixes, I'd even took a shot at remixing it myself. It's crap.
Seriously. The title track, for the first time in Linkin Park's history, is absolute shit. Like Blackout, The Catalyst's music sounds like it was done with a MIDI synth. The lyrics have a very LOUD anti-war/pro-religious sound to them. Are Linkin Park trying to crossover into the Christian Pop/Alternative genre? (I hope not, there are enough faux Pop/Indie/Alternative artists doing Christian music -.-) If I wanted to listen to a political Indie album, I'd throw in Thursday's Full Collapse.
All in all, A Thousand Suns is a piece of shit with a SINGLE defining song. That song will probably never get any radio airtime. LP will litter the radio with their softer, politically stuffed songs (like The Catalyst) and declare to the rest of the world that they've forgotten their old fans.
2/10 stars
A Thousand Suns sounds like Minutes to Midnight with different tracks. The grungy, rock-filled albums of the past are obviously over, shoved out of the way in favor of new wave indie pop and anti-war/anti-government propaganda. Lots of ambiance can be heard on this track, lots of fades and rushes. The instrumentation is lacking for all of the effects they used to not make every song sound like the last.
Remember Meteora? That neat experiment song Nobody's Listening? It sounds like they tried for that feel on nearly every song on this album. Like the entire album is an experiment, and a failed one at that.
I'm generally a fan of Linkin Park. I gave their last album a shot, and some of the songs grew on me, and here I was hoping they'd go back to their roots for this new CD. I hoped for nothing, I was let down.
The closest you'll get to their old sound on this album is the song Blackout. And even then, it sounds like they had Michael Jackson sing/scream this track before the man died. And the background music just does NOT fit. It seriously sounds like it belongs in the water level of Sonic 4. It even sounds like it was generated with a MIDI synthesizer or a Genesis.
Wretches and Kings sounds like a throwback to Fort Minor. You know who Fort Minor is, right? Mike Shinoda's little rap group pet project? They had, like, one commercially released album and a bunch of self-released LPs. It's actually not bad, but one good song in a collection of 15 is not a good thing.
There are tracks on this album that are too short to be worth anything. I can understand the intro being a short bit of music, but when there are other tracks that are snippets of speeches and nonsensical percussion runs, I start wondering if the production of this album was mixed with the production of an Eminem album.
The title track for this album is The Catalyst. It's been featured in the commercial for some war game... I think it's Call of Duty, might be Medal of Honor. One of those games. I'd heard it there, I'd heard it on MySpace, I'd heard the remixes, I'd even took a shot at remixing it myself. It's crap.
Seriously. The title track, for the first time in Linkin Park's history, is absolute shit. Like Blackout, The Catalyst's music sounds like it was done with a MIDI synth. The lyrics have a very LOUD anti-war/pro-religious sound to them. Are Linkin Park trying to crossover into the Christian Pop/Alternative genre? (I hope not, there are enough faux Pop/Indie/Alternative artists doing Christian music -.-) If I wanted to listen to a political Indie album, I'd throw in Thursday's Full Collapse.
All in all, A Thousand Suns is a piece of shit with a SINGLE defining song. That song will probably never get any radio airtime. LP will litter the radio with their softer, politically stuffed songs (like The Catalyst) and declare to the rest of the world that they've forgotten their old fans.
2/10 stars
11 September 2010
I Get So Pissed Off On This Date
September 11th.
For the rest of the world, September 11th may not hold much significance, but for the US, it's the anniversary of the worst terrorist attack in the history of the country.
After September 11th, 2001, the US began attacking Afghanistan, looking for a terrorist by the name of Osama bin Laden. We (I hate having to use that pronoun, especially because I don't consider myself a patriot of this country) were bombing hillsides and small towns, invading the country, looking for an old man in a turban, who carries around an oxygen tank so he can breathe. As far as I know, he still hasn't been captured, nor has his body been recovered.
If you look at it, the war in Afghanistan has been all but forgotten in favor of the war in Iraq. But where's the link? We jumped from Afghanistan to Iraq for no reason other than "they have helped the Taliban." Guess what? So has Palestine, so has Russia, so has Cuba, so has North Korea, but we haven't invaded any of those countries!
Call me a conspiracy theorist if you must, but I believe the entire ordeal in 2001 was set up by our own government. All the lives that were lost in the collapsing of the Twin Towers rests on the shoulders of Bush and his administration. And still those men and women are all free.
We were attacked from within so that the government could start a war, and give an excuse to go after not Osama, but Hussein. After all, didn't Hussein attempt to assassinate Bush Sr.? And Bush Sr. never got his revenge, so who better to try for vengeance than Sr.'s son? and in the process, we can take over the wonderful oil fields to fuel our war, because we're running out of our reserves as it is. Who cares about all the American lives that were lost, we can just blame other people!
No. FUCK YOU, no. We started a war we never should have started. The US is a fucking bully, shoving around smaller, less developed countries because we CAN. Want to know why we haven't invaded anywhere else?
NUCLEAR, BIOLOGICAL, AND CHEMICAL CAPABILITIES.
We signed a treaty to never use nuclear or biological weapons in combat. Here's a list of the people who did not sign the nuclear treaty, out of the list of countries I mentioned:
1) North Korea
2) Palestine
3) Cuba
4) A bunch of other countries I haven't mentioned
Now for a list of the countries that aren't against using biological and chemical means for war:
1) North Korea
2) Cuba
3) Russia
4) Palestine
5) A bunch of other countries I haven't mentioned
Okay, so we consider Cuba to be one of our territories, so we can't attack there. But why not? We already attacked New York!
Let's look at the Towers collapsing, shall we?
"On September 11, 2001, American Airlines Flight 11 crashed it into the northern facade of the north tower at 08:46am, impacting between the 93rd and 99th floors. The north tower collapsed at 10:28am, after burning for approximately 102 minutes."
"On September 11, 2001, United Airlines Flight 175 crashed into the south tower at 9:03am, impacting between the 77th and 85th floors. At 9:59am, the south tower collapsed due to fire, which caused steel structural elements, already weakened from the plane impact, to fail."
Okay, so, someone tell me why the first tower to fall was the second tower hit? Wouldn't the first tower have also suffered from structural damage to the steel of the building? Also, why did the south tower fall in less than an hour, while the north tower took almost two hours?
Also, let's look at the manner in which the towers fell:
CLICK - A couple things. First of all, at 0:26, watch for a flash on the building and listen closely for a thud sound. Sounds like the explosion you hear right as a firework goes off, doesn't it? Also, look at the angle of the gouges in the buildings. Take note of where they're located. I'll get to why in a moment.
CLICK - This is a video of the south tower collapsing. Watch the way it falls.
CLICK - This is a video of the north tower collapsing. Watch the way it falls.
CLICK - This is a video of a controlled, top-down demolition. Notice any similarities?
Now, you noticed the wounds in the buildings from the video further up. Wouldn't a building that was collapsing on its own tip over at those wounds, much like a tree? You drive an axe into a tree anywhere and give it a little shove, and the weight of the tree above the wound is going to fall towards the wound itself, because that side is weaker. So why did the buildings fall straight down into its own footprint?
The explosions from the impacts of the planes into the buildings are not consistent with normal plane impacts. The great ball of orange flame that was included, along with the muffled mushroom cloud of smoke, is more consistent with napalm than with jet fuel. Not to mention the sheer mass of flame that was produced, and the thick black smoke that continued to pour out of the building. Normal jet fuel would have burned off by the time the buildings collapsed, and the flames would not have continued to burn as brightly as they did. There have been reports of flames continuing to burn at the site of the collapse, something that also would not have been possible if the flames were not fueled by something stronger than jet fuel.
And then, what about the planes themselves? A normal jet airliner has windows on the body of the plane in order to allow the passengers to see outside of it.
CLICK - Eyewitness reports that the planes had no windows. Not to mention, a voice in the beginning of the tape saying they weren't American Airlines flights.
Here's what I believe hit the WTC buildings: CLICK
That's a military plane. KC-135 military transport plane.
I believe this entire thing was orchestrated by the government as an excuse to start a war, and impose more laws upon the people of this country. 9/11 was a setup. And the real criminals of that date are out, scot-free, while we've started a religious war with innocent people.
For the rest of the world, September 11th may not hold much significance, but for the US, it's the anniversary of the worst terrorist attack in the history of the country.
After September 11th, 2001, the US began attacking Afghanistan, looking for a terrorist by the name of Osama bin Laden. We (I hate having to use that pronoun, especially because I don't consider myself a patriot of this country) were bombing hillsides and small towns, invading the country, looking for an old man in a turban, who carries around an oxygen tank so he can breathe. As far as I know, he still hasn't been captured, nor has his body been recovered.
If you look at it, the war in Afghanistan has been all but forgotten in favor of the war in Iraq. But where's the link? We jumped from Afghanistan to Iraq for no reason other than "they have helped the Taliban." Guess what? So has Palestine, so has Russia, so has Cuba, so has North Korea, but we haven't invaded any of those countries!
Call me a conspiracy theorist if you must, but I believe the entire ordeal in 2001 was set up by our own government. All the lives that were lost in the collapsing of the Twin Towers rests on the shoulders of Bush and his administration. And still those men and women are all free.
We were attacked from within so that the government could start a war, and give an excuse to go after not Osama, but Hussein. After all, didn't Hussein attempt to assassinate Bush Sr.? And Bush Sr. never got his revenge, so who better to try for vengeance than Sr.'s son? and in the process, we can take over the wonderful oil fields to fuel our war, because we're running out of our reserves as it is. Who cares about all the American lives that were lost, we can just blame other people!
No. FUCK YOU, no. We started a war we never should have started. The US is a fucking bully, shoving around smaller, less developed countries because we CAN. Want to know why we haven't invaded anywhere else?
NUCLEAR, BIOLOGICAL, AND CHEMICAL CAPABILITIES.
We signed a treaty to never use nuclear or biological weapons in combat. Here's a list of the people who did not sign the nuclear treaty, out of the list of countries I mentioned:
1) North Korea
2) Palestine
3) Cuba
4) A bunch of other countries I haven't mentioned
Now for a list of the countries that aren't against using biological and chemical means for war:
1) North Korea
2) Cuba
3) Russia
4) Palestine
5) A bunch of other countries I haven't mentioned
Okay, so we consider Cuba to be one of our territories, so we can't attack there. But why not? We already attacked New York!
Let's look at the Towers collapsing, shall we?
"On September 11, 2001, American Airlines Flight 11 crashed it into the northern facade of the north tower at 08:46am, impacting between the 93rd and 99th floors. The north tower collapsed at 10:28am, after burning for approximately 102 minutes."
"On September 11, 2001, United Airlines Flight 175 crashed into the south tower at 9:03am, impacting between the 77th and 85th floors. At 9:59am, the south tower collapsed due to fire, which caused steel structural elements, already weakened from the plane impact, to fail."
Okay, so, someone tell me why the first tower to fall was the second tower hit? Wouldn't the first tower have also suffered from structural damage to the steel of the building? Also, why did the south tower fall in less than an hour, while the north tower took almost two hours?
Also, let's look at the manner in which the towers fell:
CLICK - A couple things. First of all, at 0:26, watch for a flash on the building and listen closely for a thud sound. Sounds like the explosion you hear right as a firework goes off, doesn't it? Also, look at the angle of the gouges in the buildings. Take note of where they're located. I'll get to why in a moment.
CLICK - This is a video of the south tower collapsing. Watch the way it falls.
CLICK - This is a video of the north tower collapsing. Watch the way it falls.
CLICK - This is a video of a controlled, top-down demolition. Notice any similarities?
Now, you noticed the wounds in the buildings from the video further up. Wouldn't a building that was collapsing on its own tip over at those wounds, much like a tree? You drive an axe into a tree anywhere and give it a little shove, and the weight of the tree above the wound is going to fall towards the wound itself, because that side is weaker. So why did the buildings fall straight down into its own footprint?
The explosions from the impacts of the planes into the buildings are not consistent with normal plane impacts. The great ball of orange flame that was included, along with the muffled mushroom cloud of smoke, is more consistent with napalm than with jet fuel. Not to mention the sheer mass of flame that was produced, and the thick black smoke that continued to pour out of the building. Normal jet fuel would have burned off by the time the buildings collapsed, and the flames would not have continued to burn as brightly as they did. There have been reports of flames continuing to burn at the site of the collapse, something that also would not have been possible if the flames were not fueled by something stronger than jet fuel.
And then, what about the planes themselves? A normal jet airliner has windows on the body of the plane in order to allow the passengers to see outside of it.
CLICK - Eyewitness reports that the planes had no windows. Not to mention, a voice in the beginning of the tape saying they weren't American Airlines flights.
Here's what I believe hit the WTC buildings: CLICK
That's a military plane. KC-135 military transport plane.
I believe this entire thing was orchestrated by the government as an excuse to start a war, and impose more laws upon the people of this country. 9/11 was a setup. And the real criminals of that date are out, scot-free, while we've started a religious war with innocent people.
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